Back to Blogger

I am keeping this blog open however I like being able to customize things and this setup is not a good fit for me. Please come and see me at:

http://enforcersfirstblog.blogspot.com/

Back from Vacation

Hey all I am baaaack,

I’ve been on sabbatical for a bit. I took the family down to Universal Studios Orlando. By Car, thats right, you read correctly, roadtrip, Wife, 3 kids, myself and an extended cab pickup truck on a multi state treck down the eastern seaboard to the promised land of bluehaired beehives, ballcap wearing grandpa’s and Disney. I had my reservations on such a massive undertaking. But I am pleased to announce we all made it back, still speaking to eachother and actually more relaxed and refreshed than ever. The kids were AWESOME. There were a few are we there yet’s? and a couple of tantrums (the rest of the family didn’t mind as long as I apologized later for the tantrums LOL) But all in all it was the coolest thing and well needed.

I have realized one thing about my kids on this trip. That is, they love seeing dad get his ass kicked by superheroes and cartoon characters. They all ate it up when Spiderman grabbed me by the collar and was going to spiderweb me to the nearest wall, almost as much as they loved seeing Brutus (Popeye’s nemesis) Pop me right in the kisser. I was also called Brutus by Olive Oil at one point. (Seeing as she brought it up I was going to shamelessly hit on her as Brutus often did) but Popeye and her make an outstanding couple and I didn’t wanna be known as a homewrecker so I kept the Ole Enforcer Charm under control I also got my bald head rubbed for luck by Woody Woodpecker (or he was trying to tell me that my scalp was developing a nasty sunburn, but that’s an entirely different story) And I can’t be sure but I think Scooby Doo was eyeing up my leg for some reason. (I keep telling myself that he must have smelled my dog Xena on me) I was also embarrased by a pelvic thrusting Beetlejuice (which I am sure I would have needed therapy to get over) if not for the seriously hot looking bride of Frankenstein coming to my rescue and clearing him (Beetlejuice) out of my personal space. I swear if he kept it up and she hadn’t interveened it would have been on folks…

I was also hit on by what appeared to be an oversexed 8 foot tall hot looking geenie chick who also had a thing for rubbing my scalp (again I think she was just trying to tell me to put on sunblock. The thing is my wife was going to deal me over to her for 3 camels and a tabouleh recipe, but my kids nixed the trade, ok I’m not sure but I think the geenie really wasn’t 8 ft tall but was was on stilts)

 I also got to hang around with Jake and Elwood and rock out with the Blues Brothers.  I have to say that ALL of the characters were really cool and interactive. I have a bunch of pics and I will be blogging them very soon as an update to this post.

K-9 LOGIC

•   The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
  instead of
    his
    tongue.
    -Anonymous
  
    Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you
  are
    wonderful.
    -Ann Landers

•   If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where
  they
    went.
    -Will Rogers
•  There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
  face.
    -Ben Williams  

 

•   A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
    himself.
    -Josh Billings
•   The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
    -Andy Rooney   

    We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can
  spare.
    And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has
  ever
    made.
    -M. Acklam

 

•   Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
  who
    are
    incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
    -Sigmund Freud

 

•   I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
  religious
    cult.
    -Rita Rudner
•   A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
    times before lying down.
    -Robert Benchley

 

•   Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
    -Franklin P. Jones
    If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
  have
    known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
    -James Thurber 

 

•   If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
    -Unknown

 

•  My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a
  can.
  >  That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
    -Joe Weinstein
  
•   Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come
  back
    from
    a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a
  cow.
    They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
   -Anne Tyler

 

•   Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
  and
    get
    used to the idea.
    -Robert A. Heinlein
•   If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
  bite
    you;
    that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    -Mark Twain 

 

•  You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
  look
    that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
    – Dave Barry
  
•  Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    – Roger Caras

 

•  If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in
  your
    pocket and then give him only two of them.
    -Phil Pastoret

 

•  My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I
  am.

 

Top 10 dog peeves about humans:
1. Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all!!!
2. Yelling at me for barking… I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons… now you know why we chew
your stuff up when you’re not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
WhooooHoooooooo… what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I
haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet!
9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???… Haven’t you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the
truth, you’re just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things! We both know who’s boss here!!!
You Don’t See Me Picking Up Your Shit, Do You?

 

Happy Valentines Day

Happy Valentines Day Everyone

To everyone out there

Here’s hoping you get candy flowers and a little sumthing sumthing. Have a safe and very happy day

From The Enforcer

My Confession

Ok I’m a guy and as guy’s we don’t usually admit when we are:

1. Wrong
2. Lost
3. Need Help
4. Horny

Ok I threw that last one in there just to see if you were really reading. If you stopped short and started yelling at the computer screen that I am either a liar or on prozac then you pass the test. If you still don’t get it Email me and I’ll fill you in on the joke.

Well I am breaking all the rules here, I’m a rebel, a loner among men.

Hell they may even revoke my season tickets to Nascar………..

but I don’t care at all, I’m going to say it:

Here goes…

Are you ready????

Are You sure you are ready?????????

Ok My name is Enforcer and I am computer code challenged and I—NEED—HELP……………

there I said it, and actually it feels kinda good, Kinda like silk boxer shorts, but I digress.

I need Theme Help, If you or anyone that you can coerce,armtwist, sweet talk, or blackmail into helping me I would be much appreciated.

I love the Template that I have and in the code it says that I can change Photos, Colors or basically anything I need to as long as I keep the linkbacks in. That being said Im not picky, if you are creative and can come up with something dazzling I would deffinately switch templates and would love to use it and give credit galore.

The blog title is Enforcers notebook, I would love to keep the stooges picture in it somewhere. Along with all of my sidebar doo-dads. Other than that I am easy (Of course I’m easy, Im a guy)

Everybody loves firefighters

fighting sixes 1
Originally uploaded by fb.bradley@verizon.net.

So I decided to hang out by their rig during an MVA that we were working last night. Damn it was cold.

Their “truck tattoo” is really cool. Each of our firehouses in town has their own tattoo (which is usually a pic of a cool landmark in their service area, the one pictured is the Rollins School Clock Tower)along with their tatt they have their battle cry emblazoned on their truck. this is engine 6 or “the fighting sixes” of Prospect Hill. I used to live in that neighborhood. I love that Tatt.
I will try to post some more of the crash pictures later (I was the Photo scribe during this accident and I got a few good shots)

ALL THE CRAZIES COME OUT WHEN I WORK

I worked the front desk the other night, There are 5 “inside” jobs, they are:

1)Dispatcher
2)Calltaker
3)Leaps Operator
4)CellBlock (Beastmaster)
5)Front Desk

 

The first 3 jobs are all in the communications center/ radio room. The good part about those jobs is that you have companions and TV. The bad part is the NCLV (Nitwit Call LevelVolume) It is very high. I don’t do well with nitwits.

Cellblock is not a bad inside job however once in awhile you get a night where the prisoners will get on your last nerve.

Which brings me to the front desk guy which was me the other night. As the deskman your job is to meet and greet the public when they come in for whatever assistance they seek. While it is true that you have to actually speak with nitwits who quite literally could not chew gum and walk at the same time, You don’t have to actually help them. You as the deskman are a conduit for them to be brought together with the proper patrolman who can help them.
And god help the patrolman who pisses me off when I’m working the desk, Payback is a bitch who aint got none in awhile………
Occasionally though there are jobs that you can at the desk take care of such as :
Stolen car reports
Malicious Damage reports
And Occasionally you get a guy or girl seeking assistance at the front desk who has warrants and you get to arrest them.
Well, I had a nice uneventful night working the desk right up until 00:55 Hrs. five minutes before quitting time, this guy walks in and asks me: “Hey buddy, can you check for me, I think I may have a warrant and I want to clear it up.”
Yup, you guessed it. He had warrants, lots of em, for so many offenses too, there were straight warrants and default warrants, so I bring him downstairs, process, picture and print him, allow him his phone call and with the assistance of the booking officer put him in a cell.

Good part is that I got some overtime pay for the troubles. But my question is as follows:
Who the hell comes in at five till one in the morning to turn themselves in?
Crazy People I tell ya…………..

YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF

 

YOU KNOW YOU’RE FROM MASSACHUSETTS IF:

 

You think if someone is nice to you they either want something or they are from out of town

The public transportation system is known as the “T” and you’d rather drive in bumper to bumper traffic for 4 hours to get to Boston than be caught dead on the “Orange Line”

You could own a small town in Iowa for the cost of your house There are 24 Dunkin Donuts shops within 15 minutes of your house and
that is how you give directions

If you stay on the same road long enough it eventually has three different names

53 degrees is “on the warm side”

You’ve walked to Brigham’s for an ice cream cone “to go” during a Nor’Easter

You cringe every time you hear some actor/actress imitate the”Boston Accent” on TV

You call chocolate sprinkles “jimmies” A water fountain is called a bubbler. Say it “bubbla”. You can go from one side of town to the other in less than fifteen minutes

You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, Peabody, Scituate, Chatham, and Leominster

You know what they sell at a “packie”

 

You keep an ice s craper in your car all year round Paranoia sets in when you can’t see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS

You’ve pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left

You’ve bragged about saving money at The Christmas Tree Shop

You know what a “regular coffee” is!

You can navigate a rotary without a problem

You use the words “wicked” “pissa” and “good” in the same sentence

You know what a frappe is

Saint Patrick’s Day is your second favorite holiday

You drink tonic and would never consider using it on your hair

You never say “Cape Cod” you say “The Cape”

You went to Old Sturbridge Village and Plymouth Plantation at least once, in elementary school, but never to Bunker Hill

You know the Mass Pike and 495 create some sort of strange weather dividing line

These are so true, If you need clarification on any of them do not hesitate to post your questions

A question

Ive seen some Blogsites with some really cool blog directory site codes. If you know anything about those sites please let me know where to go and how to sign up
Thanks
The Enforcer

FOR RAIN, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU

THE LOUSY COP
WELL MR. CITIZEN, I GUESS YOU HAVE ME FIGGURED OUT. I SEEM TO FIT NEATLY INTO THE CATEGORY YOU PLACED ME IN. I’M STEREOTYPED AS THE TYPICAL “LOUSY COP”

THE REVERSE IS NEVER TRUE. I CANT FIGGURE YOU OUT.
FROM BIRTH YOU TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT I’M THE PERSON TO BEWARE OF. THEN YOU ARE SHOCKED WHEN THEY IDENTIFY ME WITH THE TRADITIONAL ENEMY, THE CRIMINAL.

YOU ACCUSE ME OF NOT DOING ENOUGH ABOUT TEENS INVOLVED IN DRUGS, ALCOHOL
AND CRIME,. THAT IS UNTIL I CATCH YOUR KID DOING ONE OF THESE THINGS.

YOU MAY TAKE AN HOUR FOR LUNCH AS WELL AS SEVERAL COFFEE BREAKS A DAY, BUT
PAINT ME AS A LOAFER IF YOU SEE ME HAVING ONE LOUSY CUP OF COFFEE.

YOU PRIDE YOURSELF ON YOUR POLISHED MANNERS, BUT THINK NOTHING ABOUT
INTERRUPTING MY MEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS.

YOU RAISE HELL ABOUT THE GUY WHO CUT YOU OFF IN TRAFFIC, BUT LET ME CATCH YOU DOING THE SAME AND YOU SAY THAT I SHOULD BE OUT CATCHING “REAL CRIMINALS”, YOU KNOW ALL THE TRAFFIC LAWS AND NEVER GOT A CITATION THAT YOU DESERVED.

YOU RAISE HELL IF YOU OBSERVE ME DRIVING FAST TO AN EMERGENCY CALL, BUT COMPLAIN TO THE WORLD IF i TAKE MORE THAN 10 SECONDS RESPONDING TO YOUR EAAERGENCY.

YOU CALL IT “PART OF THE JOB” IF I GET PUNCHED OUT,
BUT IT IS “POLICE BRUTALITY” !F I DEFEND MYSELF BY STRIKING BACK.

YOU WOULDN’T TELL YOUR DENTIST HOW TO PULL A TOOTH, OR YOUR DOCTOR HOW TO REMOVE YOUR SPLEEN, BUT YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME POINTERS ON HOW I SHOULD ENFORCE THE LAW,

YOU SPEAK TO ME IN A WANNER AND USE LANGUAGE THAT WOULD ASSURE A BLOODY NOSE FROM ANYONE ELSE, BUT EXPECT ME TO SIT THERE AND TAKE IT WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE.

YOU CRY THAT SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE ABOUT CRIME, BUT ARE ALLWAYS TOO BUSY TO LEND A HAND OR GET INVOLVED.

YOU HAVE NO USE FOR ME, BUT OF COURSE IT’ OK IF I CHANGE YOUR WIFE’S FLAT TIRE, DELIVER YOUR BABY IN THE BACKSEAT Of MY CRUISER, JUMP INTO A FROZEN LAKE TO SAVE YOUR SON AND REVIVE HIM WITH CPR, OR WORK LONG HOURS OF OVERTIME TO FIND YOUR LOST DAUGHTER.

SO MR. CITIZEN YOU STAND UPON YOUR SOAPBOX AND YOU BERATE ME FOR THE WAY I DO MY JOB, CALLING ME EVERY NAME IN THE BOOK, HOWEVER YOU NEVER STOP TO THINK THAT YOUR PROPERTY, YOUR FAMILY, OR MAYBE YOUR LIFE MAY SOMEDAY DEPEND ON ONE THING, ME…
“THE LOUSY COP”

IS THIS THE LOCKUP OR MOTEL 6?

Ok, as I said before it is now confirmed I in fact do need my head examined, I am at work right now.

And as my Sgt said when he recruited me for the shift “what could it hurt, I got you in the booking room, it will be a quiet night and easy money, kinda like taking candy from a baby”

Yeah Right

I get in to a full house, It seems that the SNU (Street Narcotics Unit) had a good day today, with many arrests. And each one of the guys locked up was chatty, however they don’t quite get the idea that:

this ain’t motel 6 and I aint their consierge.

I have one guy that keeps yelling and banging on the cell door every 5 minutes, it don’t matter that I have already told him that he has default warrants and doesn’t get out until he goes to court in the morning, No, this guy wants to keep on pleading his case. It was fun for the first few hours but now its really old.

Then theres the guys who want to know when dinner is, (sorry guys if you aint locked up for 24 hrs or more, you arent entitled….)

Then there is the guy that wants to know if I can Please Please Please let him go out to the carport for a smoke.

I’m seriously thinking right now about walking into an empty cell, closing the door behind me and crawling up in the fetal position and occasionally yelling for the guard to perhaps bring me a beer or something…

My Rant

One Asshole too many

I’ve had it this week, I seriously think it is national kook week and no one sent me the memo.

I have had several notable calls that I would like to share:

The woman who came in to report that her and her husband had gotten into a knock down drag out fight over “custody” of their great dane (they had a custody agreement written up in the divorce agreement) for one I saw the 3 parties involved (mom, dad, and marmaduke) and the one who showed the most sense was marmaduke, not to mention that he was the toughest looking brawler out of the 3 of them, secondly, IT’S A DOG PEOPLE….. learn to share and stop mucking up the court system with doggie custody issues.

Then there was the woman who came in for a restraining order. I was happy to assist her in any way I could, however when I interviewed her it went something like this: I heard from so-and-so who was talking to her old best friend, who heard from her hairdresser that my ex may have moved back into town and if its true then I am scared……

And finally the asshole that sent me around the bend…..

I backed up a fellow officer (rookie female recruit) when they sent her on the call “B and E in progress, caller reports suspect may still be in the building” (the fact that they didn’t send her a backup is a rant for another day) but we get there and it is a slumlord who had gotten upset that one of her tennants bought and had installed a washer/dryer in the basement, so she decided to teach them a lesson and padlock the cellar door, and when the tennant decided to retrieve their laundry they must have seen the padlock and popped it off in order to get their stuff. well when the new recruit told her that she was not entitled to a B/E report, the slumlord started tearing the recruit a new anus (I stood by in order to see how the recruit handled the situation and she did well) however the slumlord (I believe sensing that I was the superior officer) then turned her rage on me and began demanding that I over rule the rookie. CAN YOU SAY NFW LADY?

(unless there is a danger issue, I will not over rule a rookie in front of a civillian, and I truly believed that the rookie was in the right anyhow) She then changed tactics, phoned her husband and asked him to have a go at me, same results for hubby NFW, so he decides that a little threat coercion is in order, he asks for my name and badge number wich I oblige him with.

Long story short, they complained, I defended my actions and all is well with the world. With all that crazy stuff in the last weekI took an overtime shift tonight, I need to get my head examined

Tagged

Tagged By Rain

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life

• Patrolman/Police Officer
• Juvenile detention guard & outreach tracker
• EMT
• Landscaper

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over

• Outlaw Josey Wales
• Breakfast Club
• The best of the best
• TopGun

Four Places You’ve Lived

• Kendall St
• Howard St
• Blaser Ct
• Railroad St

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch

• Third Watch
• The Shield
• Survivor
• Cowboy U

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation

• Montreal Canada
• Cape Cod & Islands
• Lake George NY
• Prince Edward Island Canada

Four Blogs You Visit Daily

• Like Rain Said This is so not fair because I visit more than four

• http://trafficgoddess.blogspot.com/
• http://oddgrlout.blogspot.com//
• http://karlababble.blogspot.com/
• http://rev-ree.blogspot.com/

Four Of Your Favorite Foods

• Buffalo Wings
• Steak & Eggs
• Chineese food
• Chocolate Frappes

Four Places You’d Rather Be

• At a Nascar Event anywhere
• Camping anywhere
• Disneyworld
• Hawaii

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without

• Van Halen 1984
• Led Zeppelin 4
• Garth Brooks The Thunder Rolls
• Chris Ledoux Anthology

PS Rain check the thank you credits on Godsmack- Godsmack, I am on there (look for the Sunday morning street hockey guys, I am one of them)

Four Vehicles You’ve Owned
’74 Pontiac Ventura
’80 Ford Econoline Custom Van
’90 Pontiac Sunbird
’02 Dodge Ram Pickup

113745607765622458

Philosophy 101
I heard one of my very favorite Country Songs last night, I havent heard it in a long time.To me it signifies tolerance backed up by good old fashioned pride. And a willingness to fight for what you believe in. I swear if more people subscribed to this type of a philosophy, the world would be a much better place…

This Cowboys Hat
by Chris Ledoux
Talking…..
I was sittin in a coffe shop,having a cup to pass the time,Swappin Rodeo stories,with this ol’ Cowboy friend of mine
some motorcycle riders startin snickerin int he back.started pokin fun at my friends hat.
one ol’ boy said “Hey Tex, where’d ya park yer Horse?”my friend just pulled his hat down low,but they couldnt be ignored.
one husky fella said”I think ill rip that hat right off yer head”Thats when my friend turned around,and this is what he said.

Chorus:You’ll ride a black tornado,across the western sky,Rope an ol’ Blue Northern,and milk it till its dry,Bulldog the mississippi,and pin it’s ears down flat,Long before you take this CowBoys Hat!

Now partner, this ol’ hats better left alone,see it used to be my daddys,but last year he passed on,
My nephew skinned the rattler that makes up this hat band,but back in 69′ he died in Vietnam.

This eagle feather was given to me by an old indian friend ofmine,someone ran him down somewhere alone that arizona line,
and a real special lady gave me this Hat pin,but i dont know if ill ever see her again…
Chorus

Now if your leather jacket means to you what this hat means tome,then we understand eachother,and we’ll just let it be.

but if you still think its funny,Man you got my back up against the wall,
And if you touch my hat,your gonna have to fight us all!

Right then i caught a little sadness in that Gang leaders eyes,
he turned back to the others,and they all just kinda shuffled on outside,

but when my friend turned back towards me,i noticed his ol’ hat brim,
well it was turned up,in a big ol TEXAS grin!!!!

113743695765977740

Too Cold………..

Who ordered up the deep freeze around here?

I was working the last 2 nights and dealing with it. It actually “ROARED” into town on Saturday night-Sunday morning. I was sitting in my patrol car when it started in on us and it actually sounded like (if you remember back when you were a kid) a big deisel freight train passing by you on its way to flattening your penny that you laid down on the rail (in order to make a cool looking good luck charm) as you stood along the tracks.

And why is it that we can send a man to the moon, we can invent a robot vaccum cleaner, but we cant come up with an alarm system that can differentiate between a gust of wind and a bad guy breaking in? I had at least 10 check the alarm calls (3 times it was the same building)

And if that wasn’t bad enough, we had a guy who went head on with one of our officers last night, rammed his cruiser and he and his buddy fled into the hilly woods.

And Yup, You Guessed It,

I was in on the investigation and got to spend 3 fun filled hours in the woods with the K-9 and handler, scent and print tracking these guys movements. We got one of the nitwits in the woods, and after several hours of shiverring, shaking, slipping, sliding, hopping fences, feeling my hands and feet slowly go numb, we lost the track. However when I left early this morning, the guy we caught was in with detectives and had slowly but surely started giving up information on his buddy. I do so love the adage “no honor among thieves”

The other good news is that the Officer that was struck was held at the hospital only a short time for observation and was released before I left work.

And even better, I get to bundle up really warm and go do it all again tonight, I’ll keep you posted if any new and exciting situations occur.