K-9 LOGIC

•   The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail
  instead of
    his
    tongue.
    -Anonymous
  
    Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you
  are
    wonderful.
    -Ann Landers

•   If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where
  they
    went.
    -Will Rogers
•  There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your
  face.
    -Ben Williams  

 

•   A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
    himself.
    -Josh Billings
•   The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
    -Andy Rooney   

    We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can
  spare.
    And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has
  ever
    made.
    -M. Acklam

 

•   Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
  who
    are
    incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
    -Sigmund Freud

 

•   I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
  religious
    cult.
    -Rita Rudner
•   A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three
    times before lying down.
    -Robert Benchley

 

•   Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
    -Franklin P. Jones
    If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
  have
    known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
    -James Thurber 

 

•   If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
    -Unknown

 

•  My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a
  can.
  >  That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
    -Joe Weinstein
  
•   Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come
  back
    from
    a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a
  cow.
    They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
   -Anne Tyler

 

•   Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
  and
    get
    used to the idea.
    -Robert A. Heinlein
•   If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
  bite
    you;
    that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
    -Mark Twain 

 

•  You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a
  look
    that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
    – Dave Barry
  
•  Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
    – Roger Caras

 

•  If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in
  your
    pocket and then give him only two of them.
    -Phil Pastoret

 

•  My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I
  am.

 

Top 10 dog peeves about humans:
1. Blaming your farts on me… not funny… not funny at all!!!
2. Yelling at me for barking… I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly
whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose… stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons… now you know why we chew
your stuff up when you’re not home.
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
WhooooHoooooooo… what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I
freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I
haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet!
9. Dog sweaters. Hello ???… Haven’t you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the
truth, you’re just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things! We both know who’s boss here!!!
You Don’t See Me Picking Up Your Shit, Do You?